SLC is a Murderer!!!

Ok...so he didn't really kill me but it feels just as intense as if he did. He wants to believe that I cheated on him. He told me that since he's told his close relatives...he'd look like a fool if he were to take me back. That's total bull shit! He even acknowledged that he doesn't think that I cheated but that he feels I WOULD have cheated or MIGHT have cheated in the past. He claims that he's felt this way for months....ummm...why didn't he bother to SAY anything about it then???? I know I must sound crazy...but I can't help but rant about it. Each time that I write here indicates one phone call I didn't make to him or e-mail that I didn't send to him. So in essence...this is another gift to him. As long as I write how I feel...I don't have to meltdown with him....lol. How ironic is that? I love him so much that I'm STILL considering his feelings? Or at least...respecting them and his wishes by not trying to talk things out with him. I've got to set some goals for myself and leave thoughts like these in the wasteland of self-pity and despair that I feel behind. Damn you SLC! How the hell could you do this to me???