Changes...

My bestfriend is talking about moving to Baltimore. This is the second time that she's began seriously pursuing moving out of state. The first time that she did it, I was really bereft and went through a period of mourning sort of. At this point, while it doesn't make me happy to think of her leaving to move clear across the country, I'm slightly more resigned to it. I would never dream of trying to discourage her. We all have to do what is necessary in order to feel happy with our lots in life. Perhaps this move will help to make her feel more fulfilled. I cannot give her that...nor can I change her circumstances.

I wonder what it will mean for me. I suppose that it will mean that I will have to try and establish some real friends out here. I will have to crawl out of the mausoleum that I've established to hold my social life and began to try and get some ties that bind going. I don't know.

I suppose that since I've made so many big changes in my life, (ie going back to school and actually completing courses, changing jobs and getting rid of the only long term relationship that I've ever had), I feel that everyone should have an epiphany and make some positive changes. I'm sad, but I can't cry right now. I feel so numb sometimes...I want to give way to my sadness, but I have to think of what's best for her.

Frankly, she's not doing well here. She's unhappy with her employment options, her academic options and her dating pool. Maybe this will satisfy her restless spirit.

*sigh*

I will have an opportunity to visit someone out of state who isn't a guy. That would be nice. I just don't know. Maybe I should actually try and make some friends....