Just the mother of his son...
SLC had come to my house the last few days to "visit". What wound up happening was we spent a day together and when I found out that he'd visited some questionable sites, we got into a heated argument. Ultimately, I found out that he was on MySpace with a page up that listed him as "single" and interested in meeting people for "dating and friendship", If that weren't bad enough, he had a blog on there entitled, "My Son".
The blog isn't really about our son at all..but gives his side on how he wanted me to abort him when we found out that I was pregnant and how he's come to be happy with having a son. He talks about how he feels our son loves him better because he cries when he leaves and he obeys him more readily. If that wasn't insulting enough, he talked about me also. He told of how before we'd broken up and we got back together because he wanted to make things work because I am the mother to his son but that he doesn't feel anything for me. He said that he just considers me the mother of his son.
I also found an e-mail that he'd sent to a very attractive woman asking her what her weekend plans were and he asked if they could get together. The e-mail was dated less than two weeks before our four year anniversary.
It is stupid to feel anything for a person so empty and callous. The biggest problem that I have with all of these hurtful revelations is that he withheld his true feelings for me. Since he felt and feels this way...why not tell me so that I can leave? That's what a logical person does. That's what an honorable person does. A person with integrity. SLC has no integrity...no matter how good of a person he proclaims he is. He's cheated on me two times before and this is proof that he's either done it a third time or was about to.
I called him to call things off and to let him know that I will not stand in his way any longer. I told him that I could not understand why he wouldn't just let me know...rather than saying nothing and pretending to my face to care. We don't live together..we don't share very much...it's not as if we are dependent on each other to get by. He claims he did it when we were fighting..but that blog was written a month before he even broke up with me this last time! *sigh*
I hate that I've wasted so much of my time and energy on this ruse. I've been faithful to someone undeserving of it and I've possibly contracted a disease from him...*with these new findings, I've got to get myself tested to make sure he's not given me anything* I've lost so much for so little.
Why couldn't you just be honest SLC? Why not??? You told me that you'd come out here tonight and you didn't...you want to avoid a confrontation..but what you fail to realize is that you've hurt me so much that I'm too empty to cry....to yell...to do anything other than give you your things and ask you to leave.
How am I going to get passed this? Will I ever be able to trust that men will not just hurt me?
br>
The blog isn't really about our son at all..but gives his side on how he wanted me to abort him when we found out that I was pregnant and how he's come to be happy with having a son. He talks about how he feels our son loves him better because he cries when he leaves and he obeys him more readily. If that wasn't insulting enough, he talked about me also. He told of how before we'd broken up and we got back together because he wanted to make things work because I am the mother to his son but that he doesn't feel anything for me. He said that he just considers me the mother of his son.
I also found an e-mail that he'd sent to a very attractive woman asking her what her weekend plans were and he asked if they could get together. The e-mail was dated less than two weeks before our four year anniversary.
It is stupid to feel anything for a person so empty and callous. The biggest problem that I have with all of these hurtful revelations is that he withheld his true feelings for me. Since he felt and feels this way...why not tell me so that I can leave? That's what a logical person does. That's what an honorable person does. A person with integrity. SLC has no integrity...no matter how good of a person he proclaims he is. He's cheated on me two times before and this is proof that he's either done it a third time or was about to.
I called him to call things off and to let him know that I will not stand in his way any longer. I told him that I could not understand why he wouldn't just let me know...rather than saying nothing and pretending to my face to care. We don't live together..we don't share very much...it's not as if we are dependent on each other to get by. He claims he did it when we were fighting..but that blog was written a month before he even broke up with me this last time! *sigh*
I hate that I've wasted so much of my time and energy on this ruse. I've been faithful to someone undeserving of it and I've possibly contracted a disease from him...*with these new findings, I've got to get myself tested to make sure he's not given me anything* I've lost so much for so little.
Why couldn't you just be honest SLC? Why not??? You told me that you'd come out here tonight and you didn't...you want to avoid a confrontation..but what you fail to realize is that you've hurt me so much that I'm too empty to cry....to yell...to do anything other than give you your things and ask you to leave.
How am I going to get passed this? Will I ever be able to trust that men will not just hurt me?
br>
posted by StarqlyCrushed at
1:51 AM
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