Where do I go from here?
It's truly humiliating to love someone and to not be loved back by that person. More accurately...it's humiliating to love someonewho doesn't recognize and appreciate the fact that you love them.
When a person takes your love for granted or doesn't acknowledge your feelings...it's quite demoralizing.
He is sucking the very life from me by playing these back and forth games and by attempting to emotionally blackmail me.
He seems to purposefully try to rile me and he tends to be disagreeable. I don't know why I can't just shake him and heal. Eventually..after an appropriate time...I'd find someone who was loving and considerate. Someone who had a job and an excellent work ethic and who didn't blame me for his not working..not having friends...not having anything to take pride in.
This person is emotionally abusing me and I'm so fucked up in the head that I'm allowing myself to be sucked into his twisted games. How do I just let myself go? Just tear myself free of the bonds....say to hell with the four years of history and write it off as a loss without feeling that the last four years were a total loss?
Why doesn't he love me? He says that he does..but he can't. No one treats the person that they love like he treats me. He's critical even when I'm trying to find common ground and make peace. He's disagreeable in most cases...why do I even want to be with him?
I used to love everything about him...now..after the way he's treated me since the fiasco six weeks ago...I'm finding it hard to remember what any of those things were.
I wish that we could both be honest about our feelings and trust what the other person says. It's all bullshit. I know...the relationship has gone to shit..but damn...I don't want it to be over this way.....WTF?
When a person takes your love for granted or doesn't acknowledge your feelings...it's quite demoralizing.
He is sucking the very life from me by playing these back and forth games and by attempting to emotionally blackmail me.
He seems to purposefully try to rile me and he tends to be disagreeable. I don't know why I can't just shake him and heal. Eventually..after an appropriate time...I'd find someone who was loving and considerate. Someone who had a job and an excellent work ethic and who didn't blame me for his not working..not having friends...not having anything to take pride in.
This person is emotionally abusing me and I'm so fucked up in the head that I'm allowing myself to be sucked into his twisted games. How do I just let myself go? Just tear myself free of the bonds....say to hell with the four years of history and write it off as a loss without feeling that the last four years were a total loss?
Why doesn't he love me? He says that he does..but he can't. No one treats the person that they love like he treats me. He's critical even when I'm trying to find common ground and make peace. He's disagreeable in most cases...why do I even want to be with him?
I used to love everything about him...now..after the way he's treated me since the fiasco six weeks ago...I'm finding it hard to remember what any of those things were.
I wish that we could both be honest about our feelings and trust what the other person says. It's all bullshit. I know...the relationship has gone to shit..but damn...I don't want it to be over this way.....WTF?
posted by StarqlyCrushed at
7:03 PM
1 Comments:
Starqly - I am sorry you are having to go through all this because its obvious you care about him. I know it sounds lame but time will heal your pain. Just try to stay away from him as much as possible. Ugh, it does sound lame. Well anyway I think we women tend to blame ourselves when the man we want doesn't want us, I know I do it. and its WRONG!
I'll shut up. I suck at advice! Just hang in there, I promise it will get better.
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Unknown, at 10:10 AM
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